Frequently Asked Questions

There is a TV show called Inside the Actor's Studio. Actors, unsurprisingly, talk about what they do, err, in a studio. Some are serious thesps and deep thinkers. Others, Hugh Grant ("I am a laugh tart") are not.

At the end of the show the annoying host, Lipton (never trust a man named after tea - Earl Grey? Orange Blossom?) asks the thesp a series of questions devised by some fella called Pivot, Peewee, Divot - summat like that. One of the questions is "What's your favourite curse word?". It seems a bit silly to ask the question as they always beep out the answer.

Recently I have been listening to the Ricky Gervais podcast whilst travelling to work. A regular on the show, a chap called Carl, was asked this very question. After a short pause he answered "fed up", which technically isn't a curse word, although he did go on to say that he was also fond of "knobbhead" and used it frequently.

Well, I'm fed up, specifically with FAQ's on websites. Who comes up with these? Are they supposed to help? I thought the whole idea of these questions was that they are frequently asked. Clearly, they are not. Why is it, when looking for the price of something on a poorly designed website, the frequently asked questions are "How can I return the goods to Panama if I bought them with a GUBI card in 1980's Congo?", or the even more frequent "If I want to change an FX 2177p for the new model do I have to add the price of a small star fruit to the total?".

Those of you who have clicked on this link because it said FAQ's are now, I'm sure, fed up. The answers you seek are elsewhere, although one thing I can tell you is that
"If you are having trouble downloading the karumba juice stream we suggest you reload your fx cable and prance round your living room for a bit".